Scott C. Eneje Blog [The Scott C. Eneje's Chronicles]

Why do those we love and cherish seem to hurt us the most?? Someone once said it was a good sign, meaning we loved them truly and every thing they do can touch our heart. But i think that's just plain old evil, dressed in a slick red gown, short and tight. Must we always feel broken to feel love? Must we always lose our heart in search of someone to hold onto it? Your every word as sharp as excalibar piecing through my soul. And even as you watch me bleed you wear a grim smile and tell me that i'd be fine. Even as you see me fall, you tell me to go higher so i could fall harder. You stab my heart with a kiss and blow the dust of sorrow straight into my eyes. You want me to love you always when you are in love with another guy. You wish to feel my mercy but ignore the pain and angish you make me feel inside How did i bind myself so deeply with you? How did my imprint on you become such a curse? You say i'm being paraniod and that you love me more than anything els...

How long do i plan to make this last? Playing the hero and yet being the real vilian. Or is it that i'm the hero who just loves playing the vilian? Damn, i'm so lost and confused and i can't seem to get help. Everyone want me to be what they envision me to be, they don't even know what i am. They expect me to be perfect, yet they hate me when i am perfect. I say i'm a one person man but everyone wants to be the one. They will do anything to have me served up in their bowl, they'd dress me up and sause me too. But in the end it's the fill of their stomach and a classic disposal that they desire. I'm done with the double standard life, i am making a standard. I can't have everyone all at once, but truly, i quit, i don't even want anyone anymore. They will bring me down, slowly, they will all be my fall, and they will spread my shame. I want them all to know, that i do wish i could have them all but it's not a perfect world. I can...