Scott C. Eneje Blog [The Scott C. Eneje's Chronicles]

My Old Poem a Song Just Reminded Me Of. (Edited Version) Enjoy. We are not friends, we never were and were never meant to be friends We only try to act like friends and put up the look as friends do We can deceive everyone that we are friends because we don't want it to go wrong, and no one prays it does. But we are not friends, we know we can't be and just weren't meant to be. And if we are not friends, it doesn't mean someone else can't love you No we are not friends, because friends don't love me like you do. Friends don't kiss me as you did and know me as you do Friends would just sleep in another bed, and let the other love whoever they will to. But friends don't cry for me like you did Friends don't hold me as you did I know there's a limit to everything but my friends won't love me like you do. No, we are not friends, because friends shouldn't kiss me as you did, friends shouldn't hurt me when they aren't there...

Slowly, the tempo is put into a roll, a match pass calmly prepared The drums roll, the strings ring, the sound waves and the humming sooth through I'm carried away in the notes of your songs, the sweet caressing of your words Now hold me don't live me, carry me, carry me slowly, tell me you are here In my darkest hour, my deepest despair, please say you'd care and you'd be there. In my trials and my tribulations, through our doubt and frustrations, in my violence and my turbulence. Through my fears and my confessions, in my anguish and my pains , through my joy and my sorrow And the promise of a tomorrow , I'd never let you part , because you are always in my heart Now say those words to me one more time and many more that I may sleep on it and never forget your sweet voice inside my head I'd swim like a river Jordan because you are my friend , love me like a mother , treat me like a brothe...

So, we try to put things together, hold up boldly but too provoked and scared to look into the eyes Those memories that betrays us and those songs that breaks us to the form that once was Then we climb up that hill as hard as it might seem and tell ourselves that what is was meant to be The day had to end and night had to fall and the days of shinning knights were over and dark knights were the only heroes left We tell ourselves that our walking away into the blackness was the right thing to do and they went into the light and we must never seek them anymore And just there and then when despair is the only companion left and sorrow has becomes our friends along side grief and loss We look up and we feel it inside , the mountain top does has that effect , the climb to the other side is finally complete We feel the joy knowing we are ready to start the slide straight into that new land , new life and newness of ever...

So I'm suppose to write to entertain you, tell you how much it hurt so you could find comfort knowing you are not me seeing what you have going better than I do. But I'm suppose to be the leader and my crew looks to me to guide them, perfect my mistakes and flaw my perfection that they may awe in wonder on who leads them But this is a different ball game, calling out orders and watching them follow step by step like toy soldiers and yet wanting to have friggin minds of their own I know they'd give their lives for my course and their loyalty is way more than any award is that we never win So they match step by step, left right left, bit by bit and still we never win but they still follow like puppet toy soldiers scaring the crap outta me cause I never liked the chukky movie But I'm also suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure, and if some shii ever does pop up I'm suppose to be on the front line and have it fixed before it kills members of my tea...

There's something wrong with this, the whole urge to fight and rip their heads out. The quick force to pull trigger and force the bullet out one more time and cause damage. I try to hold myself at bay, let it go and not give a "tooth"... But I do, I bloody do and I want to reek havoc. They think it's cute to take my friends and talk trash on my family like they have the right to shake my family tree. They want to oppress and take all I got for their own when sharing had never been my strongest points of view. They pushed me this far and I feel that force to want to hurt them real bad, real bad right now. The force moves me straight through my door, I reach for my closet down under knowing what I have there. I don't understand it. There's a strange cold in my spin, a shiver down my thigh under, a small voice whaling through my thought. I've felt this force before but never asked it name. Felt it when that creep tried to take my girl from me. Felt i...

In those very quiet moment. Those lonely and dark blankets nights, when our only friends are the sounds of long lost blues and sad memory tapes. We hear deep voices and we hear them quite clearly. The ones from those ones that can never be forgotten. Those ones we can't rid ourselves of because of how much they robbed us of us and all we are is who they are. We are taken aback by the quiet times and glittering days. The crystals produced by our eyes and enjoyed by our cheeks until even our tongue gets a taste of it and our noses overflows. We are broken by the sounds of those voices, made whole in our pieces shattered to gold dust on ravaging floors. Put together by deep sinking and scattered by the exit to nothingness. We close our eyes and hope it all goes away and wish most of it never happened. We want it all to go away but wish it never left us behind. We want it all to stay but want it to get out of our minds. The sad songs role again in swift hours as passengers pass th...

There are days that being a man means breaking down and tearing your eyes out They say only weak folks cry but it takes a real man to know how to shed real tears I write to all I've known, do know and would definitely have most joy to know I write to all that i miss, would soon start to miss and those i pray God i never have to miss I write to those i lost for my mistakes and those that bitchy pain took away from me To those that cried with me through the nights i thought the morning would never come For those of you who sat with me by that sick bed and prayed daily that i walk again Even those who never meant to hurt me but for love sake and lost sake broke me But unto you who gave me your time, heart, body and soul and now is gone I shed this last tear for you that i may never know such grieve in many years to come To my first crush who made coming to church a fun thing to do just to see your face To that fair damsel I never grew the balls to talk to bu...