TRYING TO TALK

TRYING TO TALK

 

Why must I always have something to say?

What if I was dumb and lacked the ability to speak?

Why do you always expect me to express my feelings in words?

Why do you think that that’s the only way to prove how I truly feel?

Is this what you mean by saying our relationship is complicated?

Tell me you don’t already know how I really feel

Do I have to recite a poem and sing you a song to show you?

Do I have to get killed twice to prove to you?

You want me to always compliment how you look because Steve does it too

What If was blind and could only compliment how I felt you were to me?

Oh, I’m not blind but I always tell you what I know about you

I know you are amazing and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

I know the touch of your hair drives all my senses Everest high

I know that every time I look into your bright brown eyes my heart skips a beat

I know every time I think about you it hurts like heaven

Yet you wonder why I can’t say much to you in person

When your very presence makes me speechless and numb

It’s not imperfection that silences me where you are

It’s my crave to understand how I deserve someone like you

You might never read this and just like the rest you might walk away

I only wished you would know that I did have something to say

Mom says it a girl’s nature to hear it come out your mouth

She said it shows you really care and are bold enough to say it

But I think mom’s forgetting that she’s a girl and might not know how a boy really feels

How hard it is to hear a boy put his right word right and not have it come out wrong

How hard it is to go on one knee and pull that box off your tight pocket

How painful it feels to stammer because you are not as smooth as the next guy

How sad it is to watch the one you care about walk away twice

And worse, to lose them because you just didn’t know what to say

Or to know what to say and not know how to say it

Or to know how to say it and get stroke dumb when you see them

In the end I said nothing than to put it all in writing

If you ever read this I want you to know that I was really trying to talk.