Scott C. Eneje Blog [The Scott C. Eneje's Chronicles]

Sometimes I feel like i'm going nowhere and sometimes i feel I'm just rolling Sometimes I feel like I'm out of my mind and sometimes I feel I never had one to begin with. How do I loose something I never had? How do I find something that was never there? There are times I leave my own head and go head hunting, before you call me murderer know I'm just trying to see if someone else's head is more quiet than mine around my neck Don't tell me to be tough and stay strong and that real men never quit! How do you even know that you are real or anything else is? Have you died before to see what is ahead or do you remember the life before you were born? Let me define my own real and say the very word is the principle on which illusion exist and only nut cases ever get a glimpse of the shadow that walks in full form. You say be strong through it, never give up and never give in but you have no idea how many times I've tried, and haven't you defined stupidit...

Scott C. Eneje Blog [The Scott C. Eneje's Chronicles] : THE ROOF OF THE WORLD : So I started off this high ground, keeping my pace and enjoying the gaze, while I kept myself to myself I kept on at it, saying hi...

So I started off this high ground, keeping my pace and enjoying the gaze, while I kept myself to myself I kept on at it, saying hi and hello to everyone I saw but stopping for no one to ask where it was I was going Wasn’t so sure myself where it was I was going but I did keep myself company and for a while it sure was fun I wouldn’t say I was alone all the way when I had my companion once with me, wouldn’t say I don’t miss her now Part of me wanted to stand out and make a change, see the world from a better view so I might fix the world as it was I climbed up this mountain not knowing that I had, taken no protection or kit or guard tool or ropes, I just went as I was I heard whispers saying I was bold and strong and I was a model of courage and determination But here I am, here I am… sitting on the roof of the world, not knowing how I got here or how to leave If I could I would jump down but I’m at a point where I see nothing but clouds and white waters I neve...

My Old Poem a Song Just Reminded Me Of. (Edited Version) Enjoy. We are not friends, we never were and were never meant to be friends We only try to act like friends and put up the look as friends do We can deceive everyone that we are friends because we don't want it to go wrong, and no one prays it does. But we are not friends, we know we can't be and just weren't meant to be. And if we are not friends, it doesn't mean someone else can't love you No we are not friends, because friends don't love me like you do. Friends don't kiss me as you did and know me as you do Friends would just sleep in another bed, and let the other love whoever they will to. But friends don't cry for me like you did Friends don't hold me as you did I know there's a limit to everything but my friends won't love me like you do. No, we are not friends, because friends shouldn't kiss me as you did, friends shouldn't hurt me when they aren't there...

Slowly, the tempo is put into a roll, a match pass calmly prepared The drums roll, the strings ring, the sound waves and the humming sooth through I'm carried away in the notes of your songs, the sweet caressing of your words Now hold me don't live me, carry me, carry me slowly, tell me you are here In my darkest hour, my deepest despair, please say you'd care and you'd be there. In my trials and my tribulations, through our doubt and frustrations, in my violence and my turbulence. Through my fears and my confessions, in my anguish and my pains , through my joy and my sorrow And the promise of a tomorrow , I'd never let you part , because you are always in my heart Now say those words to me one more time and many more that I may sleep on it and never forget your sweet voice inside my head I'd swim like a river Jordan because you are my friend , love me like a mother , treat me like a brothe...

So, we try to put things together, hold up boldly but too provoked and scared to look into the eyes Those memories that betrays us and those songs that breaks us to the form that once was Then we climb up that hill as hard as it might seem and tell ourselves that what is was meant to be The day had to end and night had to fall and the days of shinning knights were over and dark knights were the only heroes left We tell ourselves that our walking away into the blackness was the right thing to do and they went into the light and we must never seek them anymore And just there and then when despair is the only companion left and sorrow has becomes our friends along side grief and loss We look up and we feel it inside , the mountain top does has that effect , the climb to the other side is finally complete We feel the joy knowing we are ready to start the slide straight into that new land , new life and newness of ever...

So I'm suppose to write to entertain you, tell you how much it hurt so you could find comfort knowing you are not me seeing what you have going better than I do. But I'm suppose to be the leader and my crew looks to me to guide them, perfect my mistakes and flaw my perfection that they may awe in wonder on who leads them But this is a different ball game, calling out orders and watching them follow step by step like toy soldiers and yet wanting to have friggin minds of their own I know they'd give their lives for my course and their loyalty is way more than any award is that we never win So they match step by step, left right left, bit by bit and still we never win but they still follow like puppet toy soldiers scaring the crap outta me cause I never liked the chukky movie But I'm also suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure, and if some shii ever does pop up I'm suppose to be on the front line and have it fixed before it kills members of my tea...