Scott C. Eneje Blog [The Scott C. Eneje's Chronicles]

Push it , just push it , one lil button and its the creation story all over again . The big bang theory rewritten and more universes would be uncovered to the layers I had buried within . Can't seem to keep a straight head , might need to get screwed up just right to get straight . Everything seems to have a way to push me to spasm and serve up a dish for a death battle fate . Always trying to tip toe and watch my words to stay nice . All of a sudden it seeming they think I'm nothing but a simple mice . And all of my kindness has been taken for weakness Or just because I give a close eye to all the pain they think its a sign of blindness . But at this point I think I might have to hurt your feeling Because this temper long buried and kept mute is killing All I need is that simple motivation to do the unthinkable Make it so...

I say it's over and it will never work, that I'm done and I'm never walking this path again, that it hurt so much the last time that I would never even dare. I still feel the pain, the hurt, the past I claimed was vain but still has its snares all tangled over me, the emotions I brag are dead and my brain spinning trying to play the role of "I don't care". If only you saw within the signs or could somehow read through my codes that family means ily ... My slow songs and lousy dance moves, my unnecessary jokes and curious laughter, my over concentrated persona and over dedicated ethics I use to stair you away, body languages i fear would show and actions I'm scared you'd see. Those many moments I held you and said I just wanted to say hello or how I would slither my hands through your hair claiming there was something there, or sat in awe from afar and stared. When my every words now are tamed so as to not make you know I said it or I intend...

I've loved this feeling many times before and I can't stop myself from loving the hurt. You were all over me like a wine-stained shirt that I shouldn't need to wear anymore. And yet, this was a mark that i found hard to get rid off, always going back and forth months after month. Now, I can slowly feel the rain as the clear cloud goes dark and the storm replaces the calm. And the mighty wind is followed by a down pour and my lungs filled with water overwhelmingly that no one hears me scream Yet this time around as I seem to be drowning in the flood I think i can finally breathe. The blood stain that I couldn't get out, washed off and the rain took out every trace of you and it seems I'm totally free. The sweet butterfly that became this fire breathing dragon that smoked my house and heart are all getting cleared out The flood took all I had and with it all of my pictures and memory of you. The drought seemed so much worse but the flood seems to be the...

We fight, we push, we pursue and we run away. No one intends to stay and none of us want to leave. Yet we tell each other we are done with, no more cares, goodbye and good ridden but those are words we do not mean We can't wait to see the other person come back running. We await who would say I'm sorry first, we await who will say I miss you more and come back crying. The love we said was dead still speaks to us, the journey we said had ended just opened up a new door to us. We have found for ourselves a new way to keep the fire burning and so we fight some more, its the new kind of romance, so we keep on fighting I say I hate you and you say you never cared, I say fuck you and you say go fuck yourself and in that moment all we can picture is fitting those words into place. We make promises but fail to say the final words, I step forward and you step back, you march forward and I run away. We keep playing this game of police and thief, today I'm the thief and tomorr...

I saw her, i loved her, it's funny even when i intend to talk about you, i'm forced to start with her. Left stock in this ship wishing i saw you first, no! I'm not conflicted, i love you, i love you more. I love her, i love her still. OK, maybe a little conflicted, but there are no wars, i'm certain, none at all. I close my eyes and i think of you, i open them but she's all i see. i will kill me just to make myself see you. OK, maybe a little war, but it's something i can deal with, i still smile the same, i look the same, no one sees. Yes! no one sees this, i live, but i die many times. it seems to be the curse of living, to actually die. and the seed of dying so many times is knowing i would live again only to die, oh goodness, just die already. Drifting, loosing a mind i never had, feeling hurt in a heart i thought was lost, bleeding deep from a wound i can't see, this suck, that makes it hurt even more... Awe, this sucks, i love and i...

I've been in love before , I won't lie that this is my first . I've loved many others , I'm quite sure I know just what love should feel like from every angle . She loved me for real and broke my heart like a movie . Or was her love the movie and the breakup the real deal . I swore never to love again , keep my doors open for the fuck of it and let passers by pass by . I saw you come in, I was just gonna let your time pass , I wouldn't fall , Na ! I wouldn't even bend to the beat much more sink to your sea . Shoulders high , eyes set to the sky , don't fall , don't love , don't let it happen again . Never , we said , never again . But I'm spell bound , no , trapped , I love this feeling . Am I stupid or what ? How would I fall again . No , don't show it . She can't know I've fallen for her . This Del...

Nothing last forever, even family one day would grow apart or afar and other times new members come in and everyone has a new family all over again. We fight for what we have and we give so much for what would not be here for so long. Live and let’s live is the key, everything is vanity in its own time. This is a philosophy I have come to know and experience, but because it is experienced does not make it valid or true. Nothing last forever! And so what? Neither do we; so why worry about forever instead of treasuring every moment we have because it will soon be gone and would we also, we will not get that chance to fight again, to live again or to love again in the life to come. What matters is what we have and what we have is now, this very moment before family finds its own family, this moment when love hurt just because it want to live, this moment when nothing is certain except what we have in the records of our minds that brought us together. If we must put our past ...